I must warn you, there
is no escaping him. He comes to you like a jaunty salesman, using
sleight of hand to sell you lies. When he asks you what you hope
for, what you dream of, don't answer. He will not give them to you,
he will take them from you. He is a dream eater, a hope stealer, a
futures thief.
Imagine the things you
love to do, the simple things, the fun things, the silly things. Now
imagine the things you hope to do, big and small. Just like that he
tricked you into thinking of them, and now he has stolen them from
you. Gorged himself like a junkie on your hopes and dreams, so he is
fat and satiated and you will go mad with the loss.
From now on you cannot
travel overseas or go camping, you cannot go out to the pub or
dancing, you cannot go shopping or to picnics, you cannot go to the
movies or to a salon, you cannot play sport or exercise, you cannot
cook dinner or drive to get takeaway, you cannot garden or even
compost, you cannot walk your dog or clean your house, you cannot
drive or some days walk. And for the future, you cannot work or
study, you do not have financial freedom, the pension is sparsely
enough to allow you dignity, you cannot have children and you may not
ever find love, you cannot own a house or build a house, you cannot
buy a car new or old, you cannot live where you want, do what you
want or be who you want to be. You cannot do anything by yourself.
Rarely, if you are lucky you might get to do one of the can-nots but
it will be at the whim of others, you cannot choose anything for
yourself.
He tricked you, and now
until you die your living will be like dying. But his sleight of
hand is like artistry and while you live with that horror, it will be
invisible to the outside eye. Occasionally your hopes will be raised
when you think a discerning eye has seen through his trickery, and
then you will deflate with the realisation that they have not. His
mark is indelible, and he has pulled a heist so complicated you would
admire his genius were you not the victim. Because while you suffer
the withdrawal of your future, you will also be wracked with pain,
exhausted beyond comprehension and barraged with symptoms so rare
others will wonder if they are makings of your own creation. You
would laugh at his audacity at the ridiculousness of his plan, but it
is working. You are alone, you are close to death, just close enough to prolong
the torture, not so close to death that there is relief. And yet no one sees you,
no one is watching and slowly they forget you. He has alienated you
so effectively that your voice is no longer heard. He has made you
so small, taken everything from you, left you weak and desperate
without any hope for the future.
He has the last laugh.
Because when you try to tell people his name, they will look at you
with incredulity. His name is ME.
