Fury. That is where I'm at. And it is the filter through which I see, hear and interpret everything. Red hot fury. I have not slept you see. Still. For weeks. And for somebody who requires more sleep than most, no sleep is making me homicidal. Grace has fled, tolerance is scarce and patience is nigh.
Having a conversation with me is like playing a brutal game of truth or dare. Yesterday I actually deleted a facebook friend because they used excessive punctuation. I kid you not. Mind you it is a pet grievance, like writing in CAPS, it is so offensive, just not usually a travesty.
So consider yourself forewarned, I am intolerant and slightly psychotic, that is when I am not falling over slurring like a drunkard. Then you can nod and smile at me and hope I won't punch you in the face. I can make no guarantees. But you can be pretty sure since my motor skills are kaput, my vision is blurred and my reflexes non-existent that I won't connect anyway so you're probably safe.
As for sleep, I have forgotten what that is. So yes I am tired all the time, but no I don't sleep all the time. I DON'T SLEEP AT ALL. My god now I've pissed myself off.
Okay so I'm off to try another sleeping tablet, see if this one works. In the meantime my brain has decided to bombard me with a made up R&B song about some sappy girl in love. 'I only love you boo, it's true I do.' So I leave you with that marvel of song writing. Try sleeping on that people.
PS - I am not responsible for this drivel, my subconscious appears to be stoned through sheer lack of sleep and it is currently in control of my body.
I nearly fell on the floor laughing about the Facebook de-friending! I think we can all relate!
ReplyDeleteBut, I am SO sorry you're feeling like this - including fury, sad and mad! Try to take care of yourself. XOXO
Jean
I know I am slightly off kilter. Um who am I kidding I'm completely sideways.
ReplyDeleteThanks honey, just popped a sleeping pill. Fingers crossed.
xoxoxo
i'm never going to feel the same about using caps and excessive punctuation around you again! fingers xed for some sleep at last honey. XXOO
ReplyDeleteI'm having a dry spell in the sleep department too...
ReplyDeletepreceded by running out of sleep meds (valdoxan, aka. Agomelatine), waiting a week to see the doctor and a pharmacy fail.
Makes me grumpy and weepy and like you said, completely sideways.
I did have one really good month of 8hr sleeps before running out of said pills. So I think they were working ...who knows. Just thought it might give you something else to try. If you do they take 2 - 4 weeks to work.
Failing that, we could get together, grab a couple of saucepans and knock each other out. (yes 'completely sideways' ).
xxx